Hey there! It’s 12:45am and I’m not tired at all! Today I slept until noon and then we walked around the town for a while. Tara et Cliff went for a bike ride but I wanted to wait until Rachel got home so I stayed behind. Ten minutes later she came home. We watched T.V. for awhile (Police Academy) and when Tara and Cliff got home we went and listened to music with Rachel while Cliff slept. I really wanted to talk to her but I just can’t. Not in French at least. I feel naked without Tara there to fall back on and I hate that. She leaves sometimes to leave us alone but what am I supposed to do?!  I’m too shy, and besides, I still don’t know her that good. But I hope to kiss her before I leave. I even love the name Rachel. She is the prettiest girl I have ever met. Even her voice is sweet. She read my journal today but I don’t think she understood it. I would feel so fucking stupid if she did, but I guess at the time I just didn’t care.

I was listening to Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” song and it was so meaningful- especially with her right next to me. It’s just my luck to fall in like with a girl who lives across the world from me- and even when I’m with her I can’t talk to her. Life is just full of little surprises I guess, and you just have to make the best of it. Otherwise you’ll drown in the downfalls instead of using the raft of the positives. I wish people could realize that I’m just a different kind of person inside. I use music to get away from everything; My fears, my sorrows, my happiness. That’s what happens when you’re lonely for too long. But I have no confidence in myself- especially with Rachel. I just don’t like myself enough to try, and that’s why I’m sad, I guess. I wish I knew if she likes me, because then I would try to tell her. I like her so much…Elle est la plus belle. There is never enough time to explain. Maybe tomorrow.

If you’re lost and you look you will find me

Time after Time

If you fall I will catch you I will be waiting

Time after Time…

Si tu perdu et tu cherche tu me trouveras

Temps après Temps

Si tu tomberas je t’attraperai j’attendrai

Temps après Temps…