10:35pm

Well I’m on the train out of Czech so I finally get to see Rachel in about 15 hours. I’m listening to “Today” so it makes me even more anxious.

Anyways, yesterday we took a tour through a huge fortress/castle and it was really cool, but fucking hot out. We ate at KFC for cheap, and walked around some more. We spent the rest of the night in the apartment playing cards and Tara and Cliff left for the phone so Lisa, Dan and I got them soaked with water from the 5^th floor both times! It was great!

Today we dropped our shit off at the train station and walked around all day. It rained out yesterday but I had a poncho so it was fun. We made a mixed tape at the apartment and it’s fucking awesome! The people here really sucked but the town was just gorgeous. I finally sent out postcards today.

Yesterday the owner of the apartment stopped by and she was really cool. She was an 80 year old German who spoke broken English. Wisconsin is the only state to say “brat” “bubbler” “gut-rot” and “a horse apiece.”

I’m starting to miss home again, but I have the rest of my life to be there, so I can handle it. I miss my friends a lot. Even my parents sometimes, and I never thought I’d say that.

Life on the road is okay, but now I can semi-relate to musicians when they say it gets boring. But I still hope to do this again, especially if it’s with a band. That’s been my only dream for almost 10 years now which is very cool. I’m really going to miss Dan & Lisa in the future because it’s weird how strangers can bond so much when they’re all so far away from anyone they know. But with no school left I guess most of our lives are full of that. It’s so weird to see myself adapting to so many different cultures and taking so much for granted. Like the huge buildings and the constant life in the fast lane. Even the currency feels normal now. Like stocking up on food tonight since we have to go though Germany and won’t get to Anouschka’s until about 5:00pm tomorrow. It’s so weird to think that we’re at a constant mode of alertness because for 2 and a half months nothing can be taken for granted. We almost got arrested the other day for not punching our Metro tickets. Just little shit like that. I’d be sure to travel with a band without a girlfriend because there’s always a little less satisfaction; a little less beauty in everything because you wish you could share the experience with him/her.

God do I wish I could be with her right now, just listening to this fucking awesome song- ‘Mayonaise’ [sic] by Smashing Pumpkins. AAAUUUGGGHHH! I miss so many fucking people! Why did I meet someone who makes me so fucking happy and actually happy to be living in this fucked up, greedy, selfish shithole of a fucked up world of piss but the tear my heart out and give it to her, only to say a constant goodbye too fucking soon. Leave it bleeding in her hands.

There’s always going to be a piece of me gone that only I will notice. I’ll always feel it. Just like the constant tightening in my stomach every time I think of her. “Pick your pockets full of sorrow, and run away with me tomorrow- JUNE.”