Hey there. Today was just another fuck around day so we just walked everywhere in Budapest again. Nothing much. We got doughnuts this morning at Dunkin’ Doughnuts and they fucked up the [rice so we ended up getting 2 coffees and 20 doughnut balls plus 30¢ back, so we got paid 30¢ to eat and drink their food! We also found a flea market with a bunch of dumb shit but I bought an Independent necklace for Tammy and a leather “R” and “K” embroidery on some necklaces. Each $1.00.

We saw a movie for $1.80 but it sucked. It was called “Frameup” by Jon Jost and I fell asleep because it was a “thinking movie” where you had to use your head. I don’t pay for something that requires thought; they should fucking pay me.

The hostel has 5 bunks and a sink and shower downstairs. We have a loft and and awesome windowsill! 2^nd floor.

It’s 1:00am here in Buda (Pest) Hungary. Speaking of which, I am looking right now at a man digging for food in all the garbage cans downstairs. I’m on the third floor hostel room smoking since you can’t in the rooms. Fuck that!

Good score- he found a shitload of cardboard!

Well, today was interesting. Talk about cheap! Rooms are $8.00, but smokes are .77¢, coffee 50¢, and gourmet restaurants for about $5.00. And 25¢ ice cream cones! But we just walked around the town today, of both Buda and Pest. I saw another butt today since it was windy. But we tried to get into a circus about 10-15 miles away so we walked to it. We got only 2 tickets-the last ones for $6.00 apiece. We decided that a movie would be okay so we went outside and asked some people if they spoke English, and they did. They said they were missionaries and that they could get us in for free at 4^th row. It was amazing how lucky we were. It was a great time! They even gave us free bus tickets home.

Afterwards we drank some coffee and I called my mom. Tara suggested that I call or write to Rachel. I’d rather write. I miss her so much. You can tell by the chest and stomach cramps that I get. I’ve only had those for Tara before, but we all know that story too much…

Songs are hitting my heart more than ever now, such as ‘Time After Time,’ ‘Fields of Gold,’ ‘Today,’ ‘I wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind of Thing,’ ’Wish You Were here,’ and ‘Shake the Disease’ to name a few.

It’s so hard to wait for the ‘last dance,’ the beginning of the end. {This is in reference to a Cure song called “Last Dance.”}

(Exchange rate=$1.00 to 100 Forints)

Today is just a little bit different. More walking. We got the train from Salzburg at 9:00am and arrived again in Munich (Munchen) at 11:30am and we went right to the Dachau concentration camp. It was alright, but we watched a film on the documentary and it was hard to watch because we were with Dan & Lisa and they’re both Jewish. The barbed wire and the crematorium ovens were the only things that really hit you. Everything else was painted over, rebuilt, trees were planted and little churches built up almost like they were trying to make it less dramatic. That really bothered me. {I remember us all standing outside of the theater smoking cigarettes in complete silence, and being half-German I felt compelled to apologize to Dan and Lisa. I know it sounds stupid now, but at the time it just felt like the right thing to do.}

So we came back and sent out some stuff like shirts and PB to Cliff’s cousin’s house. We’ve been walking around downtown Munich for a while now but we stopped at this park to rest. It’s the biggest garden park in all of Europe with all different kinds of people in it. There’s ever a little part where about q0 guys walk around in the buff and it’s sad to say but they have big schlongs!

We’re leaving for Budapest, Hungary at 11:00pm tonight, so goodbye Germany! My money and my honey are long gone. {Reference to a ‘Sloppy Seconds’ song}

There’s also butt naked girls here too, about 20 years old.

12:15am

Well it’s the 4^th of July in America right now, while here in Salzburg there ain’t nuttin’ going on. We left at 10:30am for the ice caves after eating a great meal. Fresh buns with marmalade (or meat and cheese) and three cups of good coffee. We met these people this morning named Dan and Lisa, which are brother and sister. We hooked up with them and we had a blast. Same exact points of view, and cool games and conversations. A lot of slang for once.

The ice caves were excellent for $25.00 (260 Dutch Marks). We went 1km into it (6,000ft?) and it still went in 44 more kilometers. One third of it has not even been searched yet.

We ended up coming back to town for dinner and with all the walking we made it back her at 11:00pm. One long day of nothing.

Tomorrow we hit breakfast and board the train to Vienna (Wien) an 8:30am, It’s cool that we’re going with these people because they’re so cool. Dan’s into the semi-punk scene as well so he used to have a Mohawk and the whole nine yards. Se we talk about music a lot. They’re both about 20-22 maybe? I don’t really know or care but happy 4^th of July anyways. I only spent $70.00 here for two days including sleep prices.

I miss Rachel…

Dan told us that it’s dangerous to carry “the stuff” with us through all the countries- especially Turkey which is an automatic imprisonment or sometimes death to be caught with any amounts of a drug, so we’re trying to figure out where to send it home from. Probably Germany tomorrow. It’s in a Peanut Butter jar. {This last part was added to the journal a few weeks later}

{Aside from running through the rain, my favorite memory of Salzburg is waking up one morning and jumping on the bed listening to ‘I Wouldn’t Normally Do this Kind of Thing’ by the Pet Shop Boys while everyone else was in the bathroom. Oh, and their Yellow Pages translation of “Let Your Fingers Do the Walking” was “Lub die Fingers fer Dich Suchen.” I’ll never forget that.}

Hi. Wow. A lot to write! Yesterday ended up being a screw off day except for the marijuana museum. The red light district was nuts! It was just hundreds of strip bars (and fucking), sex shops, pot shops, and lots o’ hookers in red rooms half naked. Whoa.

Yesterday we bought some Northern Lights # 5 glaze which was the ’94 winner. It was so fucking good! Half a joint set us all aflame, seeing as it was the best pot in the world! Literally! We packed up around 8:00pm to catch the train at 9:00pm. It was an 11 hour ride, cold as hell, but comfortable enough to relax in the pullout seat in our little cabin. Barely any sleep we arrived in Munich, Germany at around 8:00am and all the hostiles were booked solid. So we sat around for 3 hours tired and hungry  and I had one of my “trippy” moods.

We met some girls (24+26) who were going to Salzburg, Austria We said “What the hell” and tagged along. Train ride was 2 hours so we just played cards (Gin). Arriving in the station, a guy came up to us as we were walking out to a hostile and us a place for 160 Dutch Marks ($15.00). It sounded okay so we took it up. A van came and picked us up and drove us to this place, which is like a resort/hotel. It’s fucking beautiful! Our own room with a toilet and shower, and an overlook of the mountains and the city. The people are nice, and we walked down to a town store for groceries. It’s fucking cheap here! For example: A $3.50 American Cosmopolitan magazine is .62¢ here! Kick ass!

We got caught in our first rainstorm walking back, but it was fun! I’m enjoying the so much because I know it’s something I’ll remember. Just like being with Rachel; I don’t realize how great it is until I look back at it.

It’s 11:15pm now so we’ll get some good rest! I don’t want to hit Germany again- the people there all suck big dicks! Heartless bastards.

Tara’s planning on 27 days for Italy and Greece now, which is great! Rachel got a job and is working very hard to come along. We talked to Anouschka today and she said Rachel really misses me. I don’t understand why, but that’s ok. It makes me feel really good knowing that it’s not a one-way romance. She’s all I think about. And although one month is not a lot of time, it’s enough to understand her more. To see if a two year gap is possible. I don’t have enough faith in myself to lean on it, because chances are it won’t be as sturdy as it looks.

Time does that sometimes. Too much of it is dangerous enough to burn bridges, but lack of it is potent enough to stop them from ever being built. A lose/lose situation. And in this case I’m caught in both of them; A burning nothing.

I want to be her spaceboy. I want somebody to see my true colors. I don’t want to be afraid to let them show. But I can only fly halfway…

This is a peaceful country.

I miss Jay. The real Jay.

I see your True Colors

And that’s why I love you…

(Exchange rate= $1.50 to $10.00 in schillings)

We bought more hash and another bag of “Northern Lights #5 Haze” to bring back home.

{I never did finish this entry because we ended up smuggling the drugs out of Holland and I was afraid the journal would be used as evidence if we got caught. We used a jar of Peanut Butter (as we were convinced it would mask the scent of the weed) and shipped it to Cliff’s cousin’s house when we got to Germany. When we returned home we discovered that he had found the weed and smoked it all in our absence.}

(Written as 6/1/95 for which I’m certain drugs were to blame. =) )

Today is the first of July. I don’t know why I wrote that. It’s been a great time here so far. Yesterday we went out at around 11:30pm and smoked some more and hung out at Bob’s until 2:00am. Tried to get a hold of my mom but I got Erin- she was feelin’ like me.

Today we woke up and had a good breakfast for once on a long fucking time- Scrambled eggs and toast & jam. Then we rode the bus and walked around for a while. Ended up at the brewery for Heineken around 2:00pm and it was the best! Everyone was sloshed and it had awesome screen shows. Wow. {I fondly recall everyone singing drunkenly to a remake of a song called “Who the F@ck is Alice?” by a band called Gompie.}

I was smashed so we went to the Anne Frank Museum. Wow was that cool! I was in the actual hiding place! It’s so cool because everything is nice and close together so you don’t have to walk for miles. We came back and ate a good meal at 7:00pm for 5 Gilders and smoked some more. I learned how to play backgammon today so that’s cool. I’m so high off the Afghanistan hash!

Tonight we check out the Dali museum, which is the most amazing artist I’ve ever seen, but we leave tomorrow night. I know this sounds rude, but I enjoy passing the days away because soon I get to hold Rachel again and I heard that Italy is the best place to be with a loved one (or a liked one). So I enjoy the days I have but look forward to complete ones.

I love hash-mmmmmm…and spacecakes tomorrow!