It’s 10:40pm and we’re again on the train to Budapest. Maybe we’ll make it this time.

Today was pretty bad. We all (except for Rachel) have a terrible case of diarrhea. I woke up sicker than a dog today and thought for sure I would pass out sometime during the day. But thankfully I didn’t. We went to Pizza Hut but I couldn’t eat much. Saw a movie called “Malice” but I just slept. We saw Tommy Boy” yesterday for about .90¢ or $1.10 or somethin’. It felt good to laugh at American slang again.

Bought a cake & 2 bottles of wine last nite and played cards. Cliff and I drank both of them and I think that’s part of the problem today. Yuck! We’re all broke and hoping that we don’t have any more problems until we get home. But that would never happen to us. Please let us get out of here! Alive! WE JUST WANT TO GO HOME! Even Switzerland is okay! C’mon! I really feel like shit so if something happens along the way I’m going to freak out. I don’t want to deal with anything or anyone. I want to sleep and I want to get to Budapest tomorrow without any problems. All I want is Rachel in my arms and my guitar.

All I wanted to do with my life is play my music for people and show the world my point of view. But it doesn’t look like I’ll get that far due to this trip. I just want to survive. It’s kind of like my life is this train ride and my goal is to get to the bathroom but there’s just so damn many people in the hallway that there’s no way I’m going to get through. Just need high hopes, and for now I’ll just have to hold it.

It’s only noon here but I just wanted to say that I’ve never so happy to be bored in my life. I hate it here- the people (some) are nice but I never had the intention of being here. As far as I’m concerned the European trip is over, done, finito. I refuse to see any more stoopid [sic] structures or churches or museums. I know that when I get home I’ll release my stress on the first fucker that starts something with me. I never liked to fight but I have 3 months of anger built up inside me…

(Exchange rate=$1.00 to 63 lira)

{Hilarious! I’ve still never been in a fight so I wonder where all of that anger went! lol!}

10:10pm and finally okay. Here we are in Sofia fucking Bulgaria where I don’t want to be.

Okay, about last night. Sorry I didn’t finish what I was writing last night but we were ordered off the bus.

Okay, we were put on a bus with all these smelly, fat, ugly Bulgarian fucks and had no idea where we were going. My famous last words to a Yugo soldier before leaving Yugo- “I hope we nuke ‘em.” They stop at the Bulgarian border and say “Go!” There’s no light, no stores, no people. Just a road.

So we walk in the dark for a few miles until 4:00am where we met a kid who spoke English. He said to take a taxi to the train station and wait there for him. We paid $2.00 to drive a mile and followed him to a train and got on and went into a box and slept. It would not leave for another 2 hours and no electricity. 4:30am cold, tired, hungry, dehydrated, pissed off…

Woke up in Sofia about 7:30am and paid $11.00 for a train ride. Sat in the station and reserved a place to stay. 9:30am we get on a tram. Get 1 block up and a lady orders us off the tram. No English. We didn’t understand what the fuck was going on so we just called her everything in the book to her face. We called the American Embassy and they said to just walk away because the tram people bust tourists because they have to meet a quota. So we left.

Found this place around 11:30am hungry, dehydrated, tired, pissed off. Slept for a while. Went out at night for food. I went into a gyro shop and after I paid I was walking out and a teenage kid hit me on the head. I turned around and said “You got a fucking problem.” They just laughed because they didn’t understand me. If I was in the states I would’ve beat the living shit out of him but here in Bulgaria I don’t know if I’ll get my hand chopped off for it. We got some pizza and bought some cherry brandy afterwards. Happy Birthday, Cliff. What a fucking day for it.

Also, Cliff and I were joking around because Tara bought a flower for him so he held it while we held hands and pranced down the street like a bunch of flamers. Later we read in the “Let’s Go Europe” book and it said that there’s a lack of tolerance for homosexuality here. OOPS!!! Fucking Bulgarians…

Woke up and visited the inside of the blue mosque. So incredible! You have to take your shoes off because of the Turkish-type carpets covering the whole thing! Wow! Hopped on the train at 10:00am and that brings us to-------------à

11:30pm

Oh boy oh boy! I’ve never been so afraid as I am right now. It could be nothing but to me right now one half hour away from Yugoslavia I fear showing my red, white + blue nationality to police. I’ve never had luck with them anyway… We’re coming from Turkey and in Bulgaria right now wondering  if we can get visas to get through Yugoslavia. We just want to get to Budapest alive because it’s faster to Switzerland from there. It’s strange to feel this way because I’ve never looked upon my life as sacred to me until something like this happens. I know I won’t make it past 25 but come on!

Everyone is saying that if we cannot get passports they will just send us back to Sophia (Bulgaria) for a traveler’s visa from the embassy. We’re just tourist/ dumb travelers and we don’t want anything to do with what’s going on in Yugo. We just want to use the tracks that go through it. We’re on a 28 hour train from Istanbul to Budapest that left this morning at 10 o’clock. We paid 92 dollars for this fucking ride and I don’t want to come back this way again. I’m just such a different fucking person that everyone else and I don’t know if I like it anymore. I hate the looks, I hate the comments. I’m proud to be myself unlike many others, but sometimes I just wish that I could be myself but not stick out like the sore thumb of society. Now I just want to be home with Rachel and stay within my own realms for a while. But the experience was nice- it’s just not for me. I just want to get out of Yugo- if I can even get in. Jay is the only person that knows I’m here so at least someone knows. Well, we’re getting close- I’ll write the results later. Ta- Ta! Oh boy oh boy! I’ve never been so afraid as I am right now…

3:00am

Okay. This is not cool. We get to the border- Americans free. Swiss is a no go. Rachel cannot get a visa. Period. We wait at the station in Yugoslavia for, well, let’s just say a long time. Rachel gets her passport taken away. She is told to go back to Sofia (Bulgaria) without us. I don’t think so.

Woke up for brunch around 10:00am and hit the Bazaar yet again. I spent $513.00 from the 8^th until yesterday. Impossible! Oh well, sorry mom and dad! Hit MacDonald’s again and went back to shower w/ Rachel for the 2^nd night in a row. She makes bath time so much fun!

Watched a light show at the blue mosque and it was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Pigeons were flying around it and it looked like white flickers everywhere. I felt like I was in a fairytale like Cinderella for a moment. Cool!

Went to the Orient hostel again and slept for a few hours. Went to the Grand Bazaar and MacDonald’s afterwards. Drank some beers and played cards at night. Met Rob and Troy who worked there and shot the shit until bedtime.

Well, well, well, here we aren’t. {At this point Rachel starts to write in my journal} “Actually we are in the bus to Istanbul (oh encore, FUCKING bus) but I don’t want to write in my journal now, because I want to speak with Rachel. Even if she doesn’t speak very well!!!”

Okay, anyways, it’s 9:15pm and I’m beat! We arrived at 8:00am this morning and ate some pancakes at a restaurant before hitting the tour bus at 9:30am. We went through the largest underground city in the world and it was for the city to hide in case of an invasion. Cool! This town is remarkable! The citty is literally carved out of dome rocks comme ca---à {insert drawing of said rocks} with rocks on top of some of them! Just incredible.

We took a 4km hike through this canyon and what a view! We visited 2 churches (about 500ad) and they were pretty dumb, but it really makes you want to believe it with the original pictures on the cement walls and ceiling. But they got nuts when people (and Rachel) used flashes on their cameras because it was a church, which really pisses me off when I hear stupid fucking rules like that. What a crock of shit. You can be christian but you can’t take a fucking picture?! Come on!

Anyways, we walked for what seemed like eternity before we got to some “punk sheep” which had spray paint on them, and then walked some more to a restaurant where we ate a stir-fry-type meal (with a beer, of course) and talked with some French and Australian people. It was cool. We came back and sat around at the bus stop for an hour and got on this bus around 7:15pm. Another day of yawns tomorrow…

-end 9:30pm-

Cliff in one of the 40 underground cities of Cappadocia

Rachel and I in Cappadocia

Tara and Cliff in Cappadocia

punk rock sheep!